| :) |
|
|
| 02:33pm 22/07/2005 |
| |
mood:  happy music: ---->
|
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be in time
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need. |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| cindy smiles in overcoats... |
|
|
| 11:54pm 27/06/2005 |
| |
mood:  calm music: mogwai
|
i miss my luke :(
im officially 19 though..watever that means to me
mountain goats tomarow night! then midnight movie
then boston and ohio and back home for two weeks of partying like hell at steph's
than SB and san fran to see my luv in august. i NEED to go back to school. i cant fall back into this scottsdale lifestyle for too long, i'm already getting re-sucked into the bubble
i need to smoke my weed
i need to read my books
i need to write my songs and SING them with my new instrument :)
i need to touch luke's face and hear his voice
and i miss EVERYONE else in SB too. sooooo so much. <3 thank god i met them all, because if i still only thought this world where i am right now is all that was out there, i'd probly be more of a wreck than i already am. but happiness comes from karma i guess. and i try. hard.
Rain
Rain is a perfectly sculpted garden of wetness
looooooooooove. |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| :) |
|
|
| 09:35pm 16/05/2005 |
| |
mood:  tired music: regina spector
|
it's finaly spring and its really true that love is in the air.... :)
its not just me. it's everyone. literally. even kizzle. and her brother. and my sister. and like 5 girls on my hall. and all the random people out holding hands and schmoozing and such
sometimes i feel like i dont know what to think when i'm actually happy and content in life for once. its wierd its like im used to feeling alone and rejected and mad at the world and people
but its nice to have a break from that for once
i can thank luke
and i do
and i hate school work for keeping us apart all the damn time!!
ps. i miss the format |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 01:24am 04/03/2005 |
| |
|
music: the beatles~ magical mystery tour
|
its like the moment you finally fall for somebody, you also see how completely TAKEN they already are! and the best ones too. sad... |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| green machine ;) |
|
|
| 09:14pm 29/01/2005 |
| |
mood: calm music: simon & garfunkel
|
i should do reviews of artists and songs but the way i review them is that i describe how the music made my body feel . like an advertisemnt. so like basically how portishead makes my legs flutter. or joanna newsom weaves purple and pink baskets in your eyelids. and sigur ros is like sugar. only better
i wanted to make one "suggestive statement" for all of you people out there to twirl around in your heads..
imagine a world where they just give little kids weed instead of televisions while they were growing up. the world would be a much more productive place.
and yes, productive is the right word |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 03:52pm 24/12/2004 |
| |
today i discovered that i like interacting with a book much more than i like interacting with most people
i hope that's just because i havent met all the right people yet |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 10:53pm 22/12/2004 |
| |
mood:  blah
|
i think im gonna ask to see a therapist. psychologist maybe.
im going to ohio for AT LEAST a month over summer
time to write some songs while i'm back at home where i always write
i've been watching movies during the day because i dont have anything else to do and i dont want to shop because i hate spending money. i like movies. and i just started reading "the perks of being a wallflower"..its good..its been awhile since i've read a fiction book.
my brother has a new girlfriend. its cute
my sister had surgery yesterday and now she's on vicodin...im jealous i wont lie
things arent the same with my friends from highschool anymore. i feel like i've gotten over the north-scottsdale bubble, and they havent. so i cant exactly relater the same anymore. plus i'm the only one who likes smoking weed all the time. everyone else just wants to drink. and i hate drinking these days...just doesnt do it for me anymore. plus the whole weight issue...its not even worth it. id rather sit at home and watch movies with my sister. im relapsing into how i used to be, now that i'm visiting home and family. i missed it more than i thought i would. well only some aspects. but still.
ew my oldest sister just told me and austin that her boyfriend in new york sent her naked pictures of him. wierd. |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| it was one of those great nights...it was in ohio |
|
|
| 01:23am 18/12/2004 |
| |
mood:  melancholy
|
i would love to stay in ohio forever.
and marry one of my cousin's friends.
and smoke weed and shop all day
i missed my family. i never want to leave them, nothing makes me happy like being here. if i ever knew what real love feels like, its what i've got right here in this room
school wont be the same now that i remember what i'm missing
i dont know how pictures and video clips will carry me through the next six months.
"the idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving"... breath in breath out... i HATE my father for keeping me away. i always have and i dont see that ever changing. taking even one moment of someone's life away from them because of what you feel is right, without ever opening your mind or your heart to whats really important. thats sad. and i've missed out on SO much. and i love noah's friends. i already feel like we've been hanging out every night for our entire lives. i was meant to live here i swear
and i can remember every single time i've ever left i cry harder than ever because my mind keeps cyclying through all the people i'm leaving
here's to the most stubborn father in existance. i live in prison, only worse. at least scott gets visits from my cousins ever week. i get a 6 day visit once a year, if i'm lucky
but hey at least i got a pair of $230 dollar jeans....
welcome to ohio. and after the party tommarow if i'm not aloud to go out with all the guys then i honestly dont even know what i'll do. i should probly just drop out of college and move in with my aunt stringing her jewlery. at least i'll be with everyone. thats all that ever mattered to me anyways. and all that i've been held back from. i can model for her and do trunk shows and be stoned all day and do whatever the fuck makes me happy. its hard to have it dangling in front of me and not be able to be a part of it. its REALLY really hard |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 10:46pm 11/12/2004 |
| |
mood:  anxious music: karin's call phone ringing..aka woodstocks delivery!!! YUMMY
|
its all just so annoying. i dont understand any of it really.
i mean sometimes i just want to yell at them so badly.
but mostly i just remind myself that they arent worth my time.
thank god i never get jealous.
i love meeting amazing new people. it makes me happy
right now i'm staring at my hanukah candles burning down, and in the distance i can see the bacardi handle in the corner, and right next to that is the box where i keep my "illegal substances"... and so now i'm laughing outloud at the fact that san miguel can SUCK MY COCK
im going home tomarow. and ohio on monday. ohio is my favorite place. hands down. i miss my cousins. im gonna shreak sooo loud when i see everyone. SO loud.
there are bells on the hill and i hEAR them ringing |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| ew im SICK |
|
|
| 02:42am 11/12/2004 |
| |
mood:  full music: i ate too much freebirds
|
my floormates are the BEST. we party together, and we even help eachother get sick and unsick together. here is a HUGE kissy to brittany and emily for giving me throwup medicine in the bathroom...:) i wuv u gals! i dont know what i would do without you. i'd probly be fat and passed out on a sidewalk somewhere in IV. and everyone else on our floor was SO fun to go to DP with tonight. and of course mrs. wheats you rock my world |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 08:46pm 10/12/2004 |
| |
mood:  drunk music: kraftwerk
|
i ama DRUNk. its been awhile
ps i feel FAT as fuck right now but i dont understand at all because i fit jeans that were way too small before i came here. am i really that fat i mean honestly why does it bug me so much i HATE it i wish i didnt care i really really wish |
|
| |
|
Read 2 - Post |
| |
| no food tastes as good as thin feels ;) |
|
|
| 06:26pm 05/12/2004 |
| |
mood:  hungry music: joanna newsom ~ milk-eyed mender
|
ok i am just gonna lay it out flat on the table...I AM OBSESSED WITH NATE REUSS. there i did it. its pure obsession. and i'm not even the least bit ashamed that i have an obsession. i cant deny my feelings. he is a genius. and more. but i wont get into it. ok thats all |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| these eyes...they're strongly covered in disguise |
|
|
| 08:49am 01/12/2004 |
| |
|
mood: awake music: sigur ros. so lovely
|
saturday-tuesday and i just might keep it up all week...
i miss the format. SO much
i now have arguably THE best music collection known to man. this makes me happier than i've probly ever been in my entire life. i'll never want something that isnt there again. life is at my fingertips. yesssss.
and i have to add that everyone who I've been hanging out with lately and making plans with and just talking to, i LUV you. like honestly. i never realized how much better friends can make your life. thanks DORKS. cuz u know that if you're friends with me your a retard. i wouldnt have u any other way
mrs. wheats you better stop sleeping and start studying!! ew finals. i say we just do that whole lock ourselves in our room plan and wait till they have to knock the door down. i bet we could hold out for at least a week and a half. and imagine how skinny we'd get! :) mwahahahaha ok maybe not. but we BETTER go tanning. tan tan tan tan tan tan tan tan tan tan. white=NOT rad at all.
ps. i already have some good new year's resolutions for us. ready? find GUYS. how fun would it be to both have amazing boyfriends and we could double date alll the time. woohoo for fantasy land.ok why i am rambling |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 12:40am 29/11/2004 |
| |
|
mood: stoned music: aberfeldy ~ young forever
|
thank GOD for santa barbara. and all the people here. im home. in sb. and i love it. i really love it
i did get ONE thing out of going home. well a lot actually. i got re-inspired with that feeling i get that makes me crave writing music and performing. wow it makes me so much more excited about my life and my future. i couldnt have my life any other way. AND i bought so many solid quality cd's. i just want to hibernate and listen to all of them a hundred times through.
screw people. i need to get refocused on my songs. i was so good about it for two years. and leaving az kind of led me off track. but going back reminded me how important it all is and how much i need it. because its my only outlet. and its SUCH a good one |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| i fell in love with a boy who has a real live romance with a train... |
|
|
| 09:22am 23/11/2004 |
| |
|
mood: awake music: Chelsea's Corner - Two Hundred Words In Snow
|
thank god i'm going home in one more day. i miss my friends. SO SO badly. stephie poo and pommie especially! i hope there's at least one night of partying at locket's house for old time's sake. and i better get to smoke with rj and chill the sean. and see all my luvelies from good old dmhs. and ashley irvin! the sad part is that i wanted to see andy the most of everybody, but he's going to see ty and bill in san francisco so i have to wait till december. bleh. o well we are patient people. but andy is the best. he really is. hm what else is good about home.. SHOPPING with the motherlove and my sissies!!! awww i miss zach! i should call him more often, i'm a bad sister. ew i really am a bad sister. i definately was not a good rolemodel in highschool.. sach i'm sorry. although i know either way you can handle everything on your own. except that you're home by yourself with mom and dad, which has probly sparked a whole new wave of arguments and yelling. ick. one day i'll have u come up to sb and visit... escape them for a while :). and i cant forget my best friend austin. best friend/sister that is. well sister first, then best friend i guess.or both together i dont know. but we understand eachother better than ANYONE. she might be the only person in the world who gives me that security that there is someone else out there like me, that will never desert me. its wierd because watching that documentary thing Riding Giants last night and listening to all the guys talk about big wave surfing, I really realized that no matter what people owuld like to think, in the end everyone really only has themselves. other people can help you through life, show you bits and pieces of who you are, but ultimately they need to experience life for themselves as well, and they will. so in the end you gotta get yours, do whatever the fuck you please and enjoy your time, because its sad to spend so much energy doing shit for other people's sake, well for the sake of how they percieve you, and then getting cast off in the end anyways.
arizona :) partay partay up in the az |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| thats why god made mexico..... |
|
|
| 12:38pm 19/11/2004 |
| |
mood: ecstatic music: zwan
|
so wednesday night at 1 am me, mrs. wheats, and laura went to MEXICO!!!! fuck yes, mexico. we are pretty much the most amazing people in the world. we smuggled back alcohol up the ass, soooo much i cannot even wait to drink all of it. ahahha. already had some beers alst night. i'm such an alcoholic, and i LUV it. tonight is gonna be INSANE because i zillion million people are staying the night on our floor. yessss i love lots of people around on our floor. house parties are sooo rad. "house parties" in san miguel, maybe not so rad. but ever since i broke that mirror and reversed our bad luck into AMAZING luck, im not even gonna worry about it! plus me and karin are on a diet and we arent eating barely anything. so six days from now when i go home for thanksgiving hopefully i'll already be skinnier. and imagine when winter break comes around. i'm excited, we're going to look like anorexic heroine addicts. then at least all my clothes will look cuter on me, and when i go home i can bring back all the stuff that was too small before. i cant wait to go home and see all my friends!! i miss them sooo much! i'm pretty much gonna scream at the top of my lungs every time i see someone, ahahaha. we're gonna party every one of the four nights i'm there. its gonna be a little complicated though because i know i'll have a curfew, and i cant come home detectibly intoxicated or my mom will KILL me. little does she know..little does she know. i feel bad, but i dont. i dont even care anymore. i dont care about school and i dont ccare about being a retarded healthy freak who spends every minute thinking about the future. because i could die tomarow. i could even die right now. and i need to have a good freaking time in my life. and learn a lotta shit about life and people. and open up other people's eyes to a lot of thing. peace, drugs, rock n roll |
|
| |
|
Read 4 - Post |
| |
| there is no castration fear |
|
|
| 10:55pm 04/11/2004 |
| |
mood:  contemplative music: terror twilight
|
this life is so interesting. i feel like i'm observing it as i'm living it. and its a creepy little experiment. full of excitment then boredom and a pich of love and a dash of lust and a lot of messed up heads and confusion. lets just say i have this ideal of what i'd like my alter-ego life to be like. maybe one day. but for now thigns are going swell. kind of. i dont know. i really dont. i dont know very much at all really. although i like the things that i do know. |
|
| |
|
Read 1 - Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 08:33pm 28/10/2004 |
| |
mood: excited music: simon and garfunkel
|
aww a real relationship building experience for once. its so RAD. its pretty much a big crush, i wont lie. and its sucha healthy, normal way of going about things. makes me happy :) |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
| |
|
|
| 08:08pm 23/10/2004 |
| |
life is beautiful...in the new york times. so here we go with summing up santa barbara for me so far. this place has opened up my entire mind. i didnt even think that the kind of people i've been meeting here existed or the kind of things i've been experiencing here would ever happen to me. so ive learned that people are so so so interesting and they have SO much to offer, and everyone thinks. they think alot. which is so exciting to me. because thinking is the most crucial part of life. if i have one goal in life its to spark peoples thought processes. that's why i keep trying to get as many people to watch Waking Life as possible. that movie is so fucking revolutionary and so amazing and incredible and it changed my whole perspective on life and the way i appraoch my life. and now that i've been here i've also changed the way i approach life. people react so interestingly to me here. its really weird actually. someties it upsets me because people are so vain and that really is fucked up. i mean i dont deserve their attention just because they think my curly hair is cool or watever the hell they are seeing about me. or my green eyes. like its ridiculous that sometimes i think about how worthless i would be to people if i lost the green in my eyes. i've gotten to the point where i think something is wrong when people arent staring at me. people stare so much. its so weird i dont understand. its kinda rude. and it pisses me off. i mean its flattering but its really not cool. its sad how our society is. i dont even understand at all. this world is fucked up and we just need everyone to see that thee can be peavce and hormony and love and i'm getting progressively drunker as i type this so now its just rambling. but ive met some of the BEST people EVER here! i didnt know that nice, thoughtful people ever existed. i had myself convinced that i would never have a REAL connection because no one else out there thought like me. but i'm l;earning how to get people to open up and spill every thought and dream and i LOVE it so so so much. people are so wonderful and beautiful and just talking to people and cuddling with people makes me so happy. i love all my new friends and i love santa barbara and i love new ideas and learning other people's theories on existance and life and the universe and the future of the human race. i think so much and its so comforting to know that othere people think abpout the same thigns. it really has made me happier than i've ever ever ever felt. im floating on a cloud and i never ever want to fall through it. and i refuese to let asshole guys who just want to take ad]va\ntage of me ruin my beautiful perch on the cloud because it is so wonderful an fantastic and rad and i love this santa barbara sky and all the people that are enjoying it with me. the ocean is the most mysterious thing EV ER. i am so so lucky to be right near it all the time and to haveso many 4 am jam seswsions at campus point. to everyone i've met here i love you so so much and i just want everyone to realize all the things i've realized about life and opportunity and possiblity and human potential. ok i luv luv luv you. PEACE forever. i am such a hippie we need a hippie revolution. but i need to stay on my feet and not fall into the trap of alcohol and drugs. i have a big future ahead of me in music and i havent been focusing on it NEARLy enough., its not good at all. ok i am promising myself i'm gona put a ton more energy into this. this need to happen sooooo badly. i need to find a band already. its my calling. it needs to happen. ok i luv you. PEACE |
|
| |
|
Post |
| |
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
tay_tay_tay_tay's journal